Shamon and I have been married for 17 years. For many of those years, we held inside of ourselves a wounded inner child who would show up when we were hurt, disappointed, or frustrated. For me, she showed up when I felt unseen, unheard, or criticized. For Shamon, he showed up when he felt disrespected, or misunderstood, or when he believed his options were limited. This caused lots of arguing, fighting, and toxic behavior in our marriage. We both had to learn how to soothe our wounded inner child. This looked like giving them what we didn’t get in childhood; positive affirmations, compassion, and understanding. I can recall the first day I spoke to the 10-year-old Nijiama who felt alone, neglected, and completely misunderstood. I told her she was loved and that everything will be ok. The emotions began to flow and those were the only words I could muster in that moment. But I knew she needed to hear them and hear from the future. So we want to encourage you to talk to your inner child. Here is how to know if your inner rhcild needs healing: 8 signs that your inner child is hurting and needs healingHaving big feelings about small thingsSelf-sabotaging behaviorsUnhealthy coping mechanisms such as heavy drinking, drugs etcA difficult relationship with your familySelf-criticism and low self-esteemRelationship issuesMental, physical and emotional issuesLashing out, yelling, and fighting |
 Shamon and I will be sharing more and addressing inner child wounds and much much more in our book The Black Family’s Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds. |