Have you ever met a woman who has grown in age but not in maturity? Some of this may be do to unresolved trauma, other reasons include not having the right type of friendships in her life. The people who stand beside you can help you grow and heal if they are the right type of women. Here are the kinds of girlfriends you need.
Truth speaker- The no-nonsense woman who has no issue telling you that you are wrong in any given situation describes the truth speaker. She brings a different perspective and way of viewing situations you may experience. She’s a leader and will never waver on her beliefs, even if it compromises her standing within the friend group. You will not always love what she has to say, but you know it’s the truth.
Insecurities will cause you to spend time with people who always agree with you because the disagreement can be uncomfortable. Those who challenge you help you grow and see the world from a different lens. She will tell you that your latest business idea isn’t profitable, the person you are serious about dating is trash, you were rude to the new girl in the group, and that you are taking things too personally. You will not always love what she has to say but know that she has your back in a way that others can’t. She truly is the fertilizer you need to blossom. You can’t get sharp if there is no one to sharpen you.
The Motivator– This is the person who will pour into you when you are feeling low and believes in you for right or wrong or better or worse. Her voice is calming, and her words are soothing; She knows exactly what to say and when to say it. This is the person with whom you can have deep and soulful conversations, and she helps you unpack the pain of your past. She is your soul-sista and a true value added to your life.
The Rider– The Rider is your fun-friend. She is always ready for a good time, whether it’s hopping a plane for a festival, meeting up after work to learn the latest line dances, or going out for a fun night on the town. You don’t need to chat with this person daily, and deep conversations are probably not her thing, but she will help you enjoy life and remind you not to take life so seriously all of the time.
The Mentor– We all need women in our lives to show us the way. The mentor is the woman who has many traits that you aspire to obtain. Her courage, empathy, wisdom, and grace help you to see the future whole, fully self-actualized version of yourself. She serves as the big sister you need at this time in life. You may not always have access to this person and that’s ok. You see them and the way they move, which provides a template for you to follow, and that’s all that matters
The Irritator– The irritator is the person who gets on your last nerve! She triggers you in indescribable ways. You are at odds with her and wish for her to be out of your life. Believe it or not, this woman is important and is a godsend because she is pointing you to your triggers, which are a reaction to unhealed emotional wounds. Her irritations are letting you know what areas you need to heal, whether it’s mommy issues, abandonment wounds, rejection, or childhood bullying. She is here to help you see the worst parts of yourself and the toxic behavior you may have embraced.
Although she may leave you for a short while, trust me when I tell you that she will show up as someone else poking your same buttons until you heal. When you see the irritator, ask God what she is here to teach you about yourself, and what areas need to be healed. You don’t need to be in a relationship with this person or spend time arguing with them, but know that she will always pop up to help us heal, whether she’s in the form of a frenemy, difficult colleague, tough boss, or former friend.
Please understand that we can’t depend on one person to provide all that we need; it requires a community of friends to help us become better. Each person serves a different purpose in our lives, and it all leads us to becoming a much better version of ourselves.
