Harmful conflict resolution in women friendships
Many of us have endured the painful experience of being painted as the villain by a friend group. Every friendship is tested, and the tests are never easy. Some adults handle these tests by silently stepping away from the person while whispering about them behind their back. They claim to be avoiding drama by isolating people from their lives. Truth is, they are avoiding accountability. Safety and vulnerability are found in hard conversations. Harm and emotional abuse are found in whispering and avoidance.
It hurts to know people who once knew you, spent time in your space, and called you a friend can accept a version of you that requires no curiosity, questions, or conversation. A mature friend/grown woman seeks to hear your perspective.
It takes very little courage to silently follow a group or to copy someone else’s distance. That can also be a symptom of codependence and emotional immaturity. It’s the behavior that says:
Don’t sit with her
Don’t talk to her
Being an adult is understanding there are always several sides to a story. Sure, there are friendship shifts that are essential, but adulting 101 requires you to have the hard conversation first.
Remember, genuine love believes the best and hopes all things.