We hear people say often, “I’ve lost myself” but do we truly understand what it means and why we allow ourselves to do this?
Particularly as it pertains to relationships, it is easy to lose ourselves because romantic relationships bring us towards oneness and if we are not emotionally whole, we can become so consumed by the lust and desire to be in a relationship that we abandon ourselves in the midst.
When we are dating, we do not need to be overly committed. As for marriage, we can still be united in love and one with our spouse while maintaining our own identity. In fact, marriage is healthier when two whole individuals are bonded together. Our relationships become troubled when we make them our idols.
Here are some ways to know if you have lost yourself:
- Your partner is in total control of your time and social obligations
- You begin neglecting the friendships you had before the relationship
- You become sensitive regarding feedback about the relationship
- Quality time with other loved ones feels as if it is at the sacrifice of time with your mate
- You rarely engage in activities that interest you
- You are preoccupied with them when you are spending time with loved ones
- All conversations with others are about them
- You no longer seek to fulfill your own purpose on earth
Finally, one of the reasons we lose ourselves in relationships is because of unresolved issues in our childhood.
We discuss this and so much more in our new book The Black Family’s Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds. Grab the book, give a copy to your spouse or friend and write us a review.
Please encourage the men in your life to read this as this is healing for ALL. Let’s Go!!!!