There is no doubt we are living during times when many of us look at our neighbors, friends, and colleagues with scrutiny as we question how they casted their vote during the recent presidential election. For most people who are in our circle, we know where they stand and who they voted for. However, it may come as a shock to us when we see some of our favorite colleagues or neighbors have voted in a way that we didn’t expect.
The caveat is that this particular election isn’t politics as usual. One can’t deny the results of this election tie into the values that many of us hold close to our hearts. The implications of this election are far-reaching and can impact our families and loved ones while changing the tide of our beloved country. The myriad of executive orders that have been tossed at us this week like frisbees in a park on a warm day have been overwhelming, to say the least. Many of these executive orders tend to be heavy on removing essential choices that people and organizations once had access to. Because we are human, this can leave us feeling hopeless. For this reason, maintaining relationships with individuals who are opposite of us politically can be difficult.
Ask yourself if your relationships survive the next four years.
Here are a few key points to help you navigate:
Relationships are essential- Through relationships, we can gain an understanding of perspectives outside of our own and that is where growth occurs. We are better when we are together. However, community is messy. Because of our flawed human condition, we are going to offend each other, disagree, and hurt each other. That’s life. We have to be whole so that we don’t become overwhelmed by disagreements and hold unnecessary grudges against the people we love.
Don’t shy away from the hard conversations with love– One of the many things I love about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was that he had no problem telling America the way they were treating Black Americans was wrong—at every opportunity. He did this with peace and love in mind. He never attacked or belittled anyone. There has never been mention of him cursing out or “crashing out” on those in opposition to him. He did, however, use his power to teach people what love looks like and to explain that our country is better in unity.
When the opportunity presents itself, have the hard conversations. Listen to the other side while stating your values firmly with grace.
You don’t owe everyone friendship but you do owe them respect– We are not put on earth to be in friendship with everyone, that is impossible. This also applies to our family members. Every human, however, deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. We can be kind and maintain strict boundaries with folks who do not align with our values, particularly if it will cause tension. It is perfectly ok to agree to disagree and add some distance to the relationship.
The road ahead may be bumpy so we need to keep our true friends close. We must continue healing and keep God and peace in our hearts.
