| There are two factors that show us how emotionally mature we are: What we choose to take offense to How we handle being offended For some of us, we resort to toxic learned behavior when we are offended. That means we scream, yell, curse, fight, insult, name-call, and lash out in response to our offenses. Others shut down, refuse dialogue, and hold a grudge; all have long-lasting impacts on our overall mental and physical health. A root of bitterness forms from the grudges we hold, causing us to become argumentative, easily offended, hot-tempered, and always in the midst of drama. And I must mention that there are people who will simply say, “it’s ok” during conflict when it really is not. That’s avoidance, and it’s just as toxic. There is nothing that deters us from our God-appointed purpose and maintaining positive relationships quite like offenses. I’ve seen people resign from their professional positions, ruin good relationships, leave marriages, run from social groups, and remove themselves from church leadership positions because of an offense. As emotionally mature adults, we need the ability to handle offenses and conflict with grace and maturity. Refer back to the Before I take it Personally checklist to see if you take things personally too quickly. How do you handle being offended? Check out “The Black Girl’s Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds” to discover the triggers that may cause you to take offense and learn healthy ways to resolve conflict. |
