The Sisterhood We Need on Our Worst Day
The highlight of conversations lately at the spring events and early summer cookouts has been the latest film by mega writer and producer Tyler Perry, Straw. What was initially perceived to be another over-the-top, outrageous production filled with cringy stereotypes (as Perry is known for), on the contrary, painted an incredible portrait of the most traumatic parts of the human experience in such a way that it brought many Black women to tears. Straw gave us a raw look at the hurdles faced by Black single mothers who lack a strong support system. As it widened our perspective, Straw took us on a journey through a day that is relatable to any single mother. This movie showed us characters that we abhorred and loved, bearing traits that we all have encountered in some form.
Whether we are single or married, with or without children, Black or White, we will experience our worst day. It may not look like what was depicted in the movie, but suffering will come—that’s life. What makes those days sufferable is when God sends us someone to help us bear the pain and survive to see the end of it. The question we must ask ourselves is, how do we become the woman who can support another sister on her worst day? Why is this necessary, you ask? Because we grow when we are supporting others, and it’s good karma.
Here are a few tips:
- Don’t take behavior personally- Understand that when someone lashes out, acts out, crashes out, or curses out, it’s not about you—even if it’s projected at you. Unhealed emotional wounds will cause us to project our pain onto people who have not harmed us. If you allow it to offend you, you are making it about you and taking on their issues. You then drive an unnecessary wedge between you and them, making it difficult to be a source of comfort for them.
- Approach every woman with empathy- We know that being a woman is challenging. What’s more challenging–Being a Black woman. Consider the hurdles we face daily and remember that someone has to face the same. If we keep this in mind, we are able to empathize and provide safety when someone needs it the most.
- Drop your guard- I have been told that I am a friendly and warm person. The reason for this is that I am completely disarmed when I meet other women. I try my best to make everyone around me feel welcome and comfortable, regardless of how long I have known them and who they are, without expecting anything in return. I don’t assume that other women are out to harm me, and I try to give the benefit of the doubt to all. I enjoy being a safe space for women, and it’s easy to do that when you leave judgments, fears, and past friendship trauma at the door.
Questions to Journal
1. Who has been a source of comfort and support for you during your most challenging times?
a. What personality traits did they display that made you trust them?
2. Think of a time when someone who you least expected surprised you by offering you support during a tough moment? How did it make you feel?
3. Describe a time when you were offended by something that wasn’t about you.
a. What was the outcome?
b. What did you learn from that experience?
4. Do you people see you as friendly and warm?
a. Why or why not?
