What Does the Emotionally Well Version of Yourself Look Like?

Please believe me when I tell you I have done it all–I have dated clowns who meant no good, and I have behaved like a clown by harming well-meaning friends, family members, and romantic partners. I’ve been the victim of backstabbing and gossip while I was busy backstabbing and gossiping about others. I would crash out often and lash out at anyone who I perceived to hurt me in the slightest, whether it was my boss, family member, or friend. I thought this behavior gave me power when, in fact, it made me appear weak. I was a hot mess, I tell ya’! When you stood as close as I have to losing your closest friends and beloved husband because of your toxic behavior, it quickly makes you change.

One of the things I truly found beneficial to my healing journey was the power of silence. It is when I was quiet that I was able to hear clearly from God and gain insight. I also used quiet moments to self-examine, which helped me to explore areas that I needed to address.

It is in these moments that I’ve asked myself the hard questions, such as: What does the healed and emotionally well version of myself look like? To this day, the answer for me is:

The healthy version of me is a smart and assertive woman who is not ruled by my emotions and is able to give others the benefit of the doubt. I make fewer assumptions and choose not to take the human flaws of others personally. Using my past to help others, this healed woman can demonstrate agape love from the healthiest part of myself, wholly and freely, with boundaries intact as I clearly and humbly use my words to communicate when I’m hurt.

During your devotional or quiet time, grab your journal and answer these questions honestly:

  • What areas do I need to heal?
  • What steps will I take to heal?
  • How do I behave when I’m hurt?
  • How are my hurts impacting my relationships?
  • Who do I need to forgive?
  • Who needs to forgive me?
  • Who do I need to apologize to?
  • Have I accepted that humans will disappoint me?
  • Do I give other’s grace that I have been given or wish to receive?
  • Have I forgiven myself? (Check for shame and blame)
  • What does the healed version of myself look like to me?